Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
