Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
