The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Found the puke drawer
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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