They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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