I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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