I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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