we're making bets on your personal life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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