so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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