i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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