better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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