awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
