You're so nebulous sometimes
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
