I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
