"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
