hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize