All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
