I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
