school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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