he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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