she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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