Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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