Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize