I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
