you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
