Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
