Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
