Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
