I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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