my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
