I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
