sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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