Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
