Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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