He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
