turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
