Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
operation harelip BJ is a go
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You've changed since you got that strap on
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
