So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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