Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
