If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
cat food counts as protein by the way
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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