He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The ass gains better be worth it
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