If i come over, it means nothing
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
