we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
