Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
