she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
