And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
