where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
how can u be prego again
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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