Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
