Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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