he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
