OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
